I think that what you mentioned about making an avatar that you find sexually attractive is almost inevitable. I am an ivory skinned redhead with blue eyes in sl, because I find invory skinned blue-eyed redheads attractive and that's pretty much the only reason for that particular appearance and I really missed my red hair during my week of being African American.
As for the detachment, I actually get very immersed in any sort of virtual reality from a simple video game to a virtual world like SL. I sort of become whatever character or avatar I am controlling. I have used a female avatar my entire time in SL and for the first couple of months, the way it made me feel was just strange and odd rather than detached. Sort of as if I was inhabiting a body that I should not be in. At that point, my rl gender was a secret which made that feeling ring even more true.
I've been in sl almost a year now and I am completely used to it and it just seems normal. In fact, I have become so used to being female in sl that when I tried to male it felt strange and off and some people could not get used to me looking that way (despite the fact that the avatar closely resembled what I actually look like). For about a week, I did what you did and switched back and forth between male and female avatars. This was actually very confusing. People didn't know what pronoun to use (: and I got asked questions on IM like "So are you male or female today?" I actually found looking the same as I did in rl boring and at the same time, I have such a strong sense of who I am in rl that any male avatar I made ultimately ended up looking like me.
Anyway I am glad that you were interested in my event. Feel free to drop by the Cafe any time.